Trigger warning: contains references to R-word.

A couple of weeks ago, Senate Majority Leader Schumer used the R-word – a slur referring to individuals with intellectual disabilities derived from a medical term coined during the 1960’s. Schumer made the remarks while speaking with oneNYCHAtv on DATE as he spoke with the show’s hosts about troubles that lawmakers run into from communities.

Host Saundrea spoke about opposition from the community to a safe haven that is being built. “This initiative actually will house the homeless population that is actually living on our streets. We see them every day,” she said. “We’re about to house them, and they’re against it. It’s unbelievable.”

“Yeah, I mean it’s, I have found that my whole career,” Schumer responded. “I wanted to build when I first was an Assemblyman, they wanted to build a congregate living place for re****ed children. The whole neighborhood was against it, these are harmless kids. They just needed some help.”

Here’s a link to the Podcast: https://www.facebook.com/1NYCHA/videos/1260655817683982/
The section begins at 38:55.

When you watch the podcast, it is clear that Majority Leader Schumer didn’t realize what he said was offensive, and that’s part of the problem. The Disability Community and self-advocates themselves have been calling on people to stop using the term for decades.

I had my first heart-to-heart conversation with a coworker about his use of the R-word over 30 years ago. I was working for a children’s advocacy organization and was in the breakroom with a coworker who was heating up a snack in the microwave. When he took it out, the snack had overheated and was misshapen. He described it as coming out “all re****ed.”

I was stunned by his choice of words. At first I wasn’t sure what to do. I was nervous about telling him that his choice of words was inappropriate. I had only recently joined this close-knit office and it was my first (and would be my only) full-time job working outside of the disability world. He was – and still is – a great guy. I politely explained that he shouldn’t use that word. He pushed back and explained how it was an appropriate use of the word. I responded that our office was diverse and that all of us could identify slurs used about us and we shouldn’t need do more than identify once them for people to agree to stop using them. I emphasized that this word was inappropriate. He didn’t agree, and we ended the conversation on that point. The next day, he stopped by my office, told me he thought about our conversation, apologized for using the word and said he would never say it again. (I told you he was a great guy.)

During the subsequent three decades, advocacy to end the use of this word increased, and a campaign began to “Spread the Word to End the Word.” The advocacy ending the use of this slur resulted in Rosa’s Law which – when signed by President Barack Obama in 2010 – eliminated the term from U.S. federal law. Although Senator Schumer wasn’t a cosponsor of the bill, it passed the Senate by unanimous consent.

First, it is very much appreciated that Senator Schumer acknowledged the problem with his language and apologized. “For decades, Sen. Schumer has been an ardent champion for enlightened policy and full funding of services for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities,” Schumer’s spokesperson said in a statement. “He is sincerely sorry for his use of the outdated and hurtful language.”

His apology, however, downplayed the impact of his words. The R-word and all of its derivatives are not “outdated”; they are offensive. The language may be “hurtful,” but it is also hateful and a slur. In fact, the Special Olympics refers to it as the “R-slur”.

The response by the hosts was also deeply disappointing. In the video, you don’t see even the slightest bit of recognition from the hosts that there was a problem as he uses these words. Of course, it would be seriously awkward to confront the Senate Minority Leader about his use of a slur in the middle of a live broadcast, but I’ve seen that type of thing done. I can’t find the video, but I recall Diane Sawyer interviewing Ellen Pompeo. Asked by Sawyer to demonstrate her Boston accent, Pompeo uses the words “car”, “park”, and the R-slur in a sentence. Sawyer looks taken aback and awkwardly comments about Pompeo’s “interesting choice of words”.

OneNYCHA describes itself as a podcast and a Movement that highlights public housing issues and progress within NYC. While I applaud their important work, that work is what makes their lack of acknowledgement so problematic. To their credit, they did asterisk out the word in the captioning, but advocates in public housing should know – and do – better. People with disabilities are an integral part of the public housing community and deserve to have the situation acknowledged and addressed. If the hosts didn’t feel comfortable in addressing the issue – or didn’t understand the seriousness of the problem at the time – they should still apologize and use this as an opportunity to educate their viewers.

But even worse was the (non)response by a lot of organizations in the Disability Community. Many of these organizations have called out other people: Ann Coulton, Eminem and Beyoncé, Deepak Chopra, and Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene. But there was almost nothing about Schumer – except individuals commenting about it on Twitter.

Part of the problem is that – in the middle of the Culture War, people act like they only have two options: Defend or Cancel. Generally speaking, people DEFEND those they see as being on their side of the Culture War while the CANCEL people on the other side. Honestly, today, “values” mean less than “winning”. Political pundits and culture warriors will vehemently defend a position by one of their own while calling for the resignation of someone on the other side for doing or saying the same thing.

But there is another option: EDUCATE!

Mistakes and missteps are an opportunity to educate people. Particularly, when public figures like Senator Schumer make such mistakes, we have an opportunity to educate not only the person who made the mistake, but others. Schumer’s mistake was an opportunity to educate him and progressives about ableist slurs, ableism and ableist public policy. That’s why apologies that minimize the issue don’t help us.

I understand that Schumer didn’t intend to use the term in a derogatory manner. That’s why this was the perfect opportunity to use Schumer’s words to educate. It was clearly done without malice or bad intent. To be honest, it would have been a much more difficult to navigate that when Vice President Kamala Harris – then Senator – laughed when a rally-goer used the R-slur to describe then-President Trump. In that case, the intent and meaning were clearly derogatory. That said, when two of the four highest level Democrats fail to recognize the problem with the R-slur, the Disability Community needs to take notice and act.

Education works. People can learn, and it is important to use these opportunities to teach. Honestly, in my personal experience, it wasn’t that long ago when people who reliably voted as Democrats would use slurs to describe LGBTQ folks in general, and gay men or trans folks in particular. The world has changed – but only because LGBTQIAAP2S+ folks expected and demanded it.

I do understand why people would be concerned about this approach. Aside from the Culture War, cancel culture has become a tool for people to elevate themselves by knocking other people down. I’ve experienced this firsthand. Two years ago, I was on social media and expressing my extreme frustration with House Democrats for refusing to move the Disability Integration Act out of committee when the bill that had the same exact number of cosponsors – the American Dream and Promise Act – had moved out of committee and passed the House. In expressing my frustration, I used inappropriate words.

Angry over what I saw as blatant ableism and disregard for the rights of Disabled people locked up in institutions, I said, “Our talking point is that Democrats care more about people who are not legally in the country than their own citizens who are Disabled. It really is what the message is here – that basically you… and you… and you… and you… and you… and you… and you… You are less than. You are not worthy. We are more concerned about immigrants who happen to come here in a non-legal manner than we are with our own citizens and we will lock Disabled people up. This is going to be the message from the dais and the conference.”

I incorrectly assumed that my language wasn’t problematic because I did not describe people as “illegal”. I failed to recognize how my words would be heard in the context of Trumps attacks against those seeking a better life at our border, and although I was talking about what I personally would say, I gave the impression I was speaking for organization. No excuses. All of those were wrong.

I apologized – multiple times – and worked with BIPOC individuals to identify a list of amends. Even so, folks who wanted to advance themselves (or settle old scores) took the opportunity and tried to cancel me. When they didn’t have enough to do that based on what I actually said, people even fabricated “evidence” and new allegations – even a year later in an effort to get me fired.

Unfortunately, the prevalence of cancel culture has made it more difficult and problematic to use these opportunities to educate. That is why it is incumbent on us – when people make missteps like Senator Schumer – to educate people in a respectful manner and – as my dear friend Dawn Russell says – “leave space for grace” so that the person who made the mistake can help lead us forward in making the world a better place. Majority Leader Schumer had an opportunity to be a real hero. It’s unfortunate that didn’t happen.