The Muscular Dystrophy Association (MDA) has recently announced that it will no longer be hosting its annual ‘Jerry Lewis Telethon’ to raise money towards finding a cure for those with Muscular Dystrophy (MD). Thus, this Labor Day will be the first time that we, as society, are choosing not to cultivate pity towards people with disabilities and the systemic internalized ableism of those with Muscular Dystrophy. I say, ‘we’ as society, because according to the organization’s statement regarding this decision, it was, at least in part, due to receiving an all time low donation total in 2014.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” you say. Did you really just blame Jerry Lewis for the systemic internalized ableism of those with MD? Yes, in fact, I did. I might even go as far as saying that he could be responsible for the internalized ableism of thousands of disabled people that don’t have Muscular Dystrophy. Before I make such huge accusations, let me define internalized ableism.

According to dictionary.com, ableism is discrimination towards people with disabilities. Thus, internalized ableism is when a person with a disability comes to believe that this discrimination is justified and means that there is something wrong with them that makes them deserving of it. For anyone living with MD in the last 48 years that the MDA telethon was being aired, they have been bombarded with the message that their life with MD is hopeless and their body needs to be fixed, but first pitied.

I’m sure there are people with Muscular Dystrophy, or any other disability for that matter, that honestly believe that their disability is the worst one to have and that it should, in fact, be cured. I am not here to argue with them about that; however, what I am here to question is did they get to that conclusion based off of their own experiences or from the constant cultural message that their body is not good enough the way it is? The two need to be carefully teased apart, as this will be the difference between someone enjoying their experience in this life and someone totally hating it because they have been told how awful it must be by a society that doesn’t have a very good track record of accepting anything outside of white, male.

Using the MDA telethon example, pity was used as propaganda to raise money rather than an honest portrayal of the actual lived experiences of people with this disability. In fact, this is why the blogger “The SmartAss Cripple” started ‘Jerry’s Orphan’s’. Mike Ervin, the writer behind this fantastic blog, was a poster child for the MDA telethon. As an adult, and with the humor only someone with the name ‘The SmartAss Cripple’ could deploy, he has written about how harmful the telethon’s message of pity is to the self- image of people with disabilities.

When society sends a message of pity towards disabled people, it is a message of ‘you are less than,’ ‘your body needs to be fixed,’ and ‘your body is not enough.” These messages, when internalized, do not produce self-confidence and self-esteem. They produce the opposite: self-hatred and self-doubt. In a world that already has low expectations for disabled people, the last thing we need is to have low expectations for ourselves.

I’m positive that anyone living with a disability has at least some internalized ableism that plays a part in their lives, but the tricky part is seeing where and how it has an effect. Please don’t get me wrong, I am writing this as a person with disability that sees internalized ableism roar its ugly face in my own life from time to time. With that said, I think internalized ableism can most often be seen when our bodies are asked to be at the forefront of people’s attention. This is true when we, as disabled people, are asked to take part in an activity that either we have never seen a disabled person be a part of or which would require a disabled person to do it differently than it is normally done. Thus, that might be drinking your dinner through a straw at a highly rated restaurant, walking down a fashion runway with a cane, strutting your surgically-scarred body in a bikini at the beach, or posting pictures of yourself in your wheelchair on a dating website. If in any of these moments, you stop and ask yourself what will others think of my body doing this, then I can almost guarantee that internalized ableism might be playing part.

When noticing your own internalized ableism, I would encourage you to go easy on yourself. Internalized ableism is a product of a society with distorted views and beliefs about disability, which we, as individuals, can’t help but absorb- whether we want to or not. Although, once you can identify the roots of internalized ableism in your own life, you can then more easily resist it and live life on your own terms.

When I live life on my own terms, then I won’t really care if you’re eating your steak through a straw or running half-naked on the beach, because I might be doing the same.

Leah Smith is a writer, communications professional and disability advocate. Leah holds a Bachelor’s in Public Relations and a Masters in Public Administration and Policy. She has focused her career on creating access and equality for all. Leah currently resides in Philadelphia with her partner and two dogs.