Advocacy comes in many forms and is adaptable to accommodate everyone’s needs. I witness individuals advocating for themselves and others everyday. Most are totally unaware and would be shocked if you told them they were advocating. It is natural to them and unimpeded.

In my years of personal and professional experience, I’ve com to belive that advocating means to talk on someone’s behalf on a particular issue, to give support. It is the art of persuasion and may be for yourself or others. Advocating means not taking no or a dismissal of your concerns; expecting an answer or results. Advocacy may be in person, over the phone, by email, letter, and protest, through indirect or direct contact. An individual can do advocacy with another person or in a group action.

We are all natural born advocates. We advocate for our needs from the moment we are born. With our first cry we are advocating to get our needs met. We learn as we get older to adapt our methods continually to get our needs met. We learn different techniques – smiling, crying, whining, gestures, body language, and persuasion; are all methods of getting our needs met. They are all ways we persuade individuals to listen, acknowledge and respond to us.

We learn what styles work for us with certain people and systems. Some are successful and others are not so successful. We learn to adapt and change as the environment requires.

So yes, we are all natural born advocates, even you.

As a newborn our first cry gets a response and starts us on our advocacy journey. I watch in amazement as a new mother soon learns to recognize her infant’s cries. The infant has different tones and inflections for different needs; a parent soon learns to recognize the cries and to meet the specific need. They have been summoned by the child for support and to get their needs met. This can be done verbally or non-verbally. The subtle or not so subtle signals sent out by the newborn such as grunting and a red face signals a certain need – a dirty diaper perhaps which in turn gets a certain response. This is an ever progressing lesson in life and advocacy – actions leading to responses. It continues everyday; smiling at six months gets a smile back and more positive attention and positive reinforcement.

Have you ever seen a child in the terrible twos? They are learning to hone the different styles of advocacy that they will use later in life. Terrible twos is the time when a child will stretch and refine their advocacy skills to see what limits can be set and broken. They have learned that specific actions illicit specific reactions and how they get reinforced leads to how they will continue to use the actions the next time.
We learn when to be quiet or coy and when to be loud or forceful. We are learning what buttons to push with what people. When I observe others you can see what button pushing skills were reinforced for them as they grew up. The button pushing skills that helped in the formulation of their personality and who they are now as adults.

If whining worked for them; they tend to be whiners and naggers till you are forced to give in. If crying worked for them; they will cry at a drop of a hat and work that “poor me” method. Their pouty bottom lip and tearful look has been successful for them in getting their needs met.

If persuasion worked for them; they can give you every creative reason why something needs to be done. If arguing worked; they will argue that the sky is green and the grass is blue; to try to win you over.

If questioning worked; they remind us of the child who always asks why, and questions everything presented to them. Why don’t you know the answer? Why can’t we do it? Huh, why not?

If getting emotional worked- they may be the one who has temper tantrums to get their way. They may even revert to pouting or isolation to try to wear you down. If guilt worked; they are the ones who hold their breath or play every guilt card in the deck till you give in.

Stop and think what do you use to get your way? What do others use to get their way with you? What buttons of yours do they push? What responses are created from different button pushers?

It takes all kinds of advocacy to get our needs met and we are all born natural advocates.